Church Leaders

When addressing pornography in your congregation, there are three groups to keep in mind:

1. Those who use pornography,
2. Those who are affected by pornography (a spouse, people who are pressured to be sexualised, people with sexual insecurities, even people with a past involvement in producing pornography),
3. Those yet to be influenced by porn.

The Bible address numerous topics related to pornography, including good sexuality, grace and forgiveness, purity, self-control, temptation, empowerment to change, good parenting, self-worth, and loving behaviour. How are you ensuring that your people are regularly taught on these issues? Considering the number of porn users in any given church, regularly emphasising these doctrines will help keep God’s instructions before them. How does your church strategically counter the many powerful sexual messages and influences constantly surrounding your people?

The below Bible references may be useful when addressing these topics.

Sexuality - God’s good design

Gen 2:21-25; 1 Cor 7:1-40; Eph 5:22-33; Matt 19:3-9; Song of Solomon

Books for further reading:
Best Sex For Life; Pure Sex; Revolutionary Sex; One Flesh; Teen Sex By The Book; The Path of Purity

God’s grace and forgiveness

Ps 51; Isa 1:18; Rom 5:6-8, 8:1, 38-39; 1 Jn 1:7-9, 2:1-2

Purity

Matt 5:28-30; 1 Cor 3:16, 6:15-20, 7:2; Eph 4:17-32, 5:1-21; 1 Thes 4:3; Heb 13:4; 1 Pet 4:1-11; 1 Jn 3:2-9

Empowerment to change

Rom 12:1-2; 1 Cor 6:11, 10:13; 2 Cor 4, 9:6-14; Phil 4:6-8; James 4:7-8

Justice for the oppressed (keeping in mind the relationship between private users, the Market of Lust, and the myriad of victims produced by pornography production, consumption, and culture.)

1 Thes 4:6-8; Col 3:25; Mark 9:42; 2 Peter 2:14; Mic 6:8; Amos 5:15; Jude 1:23

Two realities need to be acknowledged when managing a ministry team: first, some of your staff and church leaders may be struggling with pornography; and second, most of them will be reluctant to disclose this.

With that in mind, it is important to create an environment and culture which monitors wellbeing and mental health, encourages healthy marital relationships, reduces stress, and keeps the potential problem on people’s radar.

• Take preemptive action with your team to reduce the chances of exposure with the use of internet filtering software, transparent working environments, and reduced need for the internet.
• Encourage your leaders to go to counselling if they are struggling.
• Pray for them and be aware of their spiritual health. Look for signs they are struggling with their faith, descending into burn-out, or are experiencing a cluster of stresses - and shepherd them into relationships where they have accountability (even if that is not with you). People who maintain isolation should trigger warning lights. 
• Professional development and mentoring is a recommended way to help prevent emotional and spiritual decline. For example, if you are in the Sydney Diocese, you can contact the PSU for advice on how to connect your leaders with professional mentors.
• Ultimately, leaders with an ongoing pornography problem are a risk to themselves, their relationships, their ministries, and the congregation.

Many church leaders privately struggle with pornography. The nature of ministry roles, where people look up to leaders, and expect a higher standard, means private struggles are hidden and don’t get dealt with. If you are struggling with sexual temptation, including pornography, take heart – change is possible, but don’t go it alone.

Our Self-Help section, with the 7-step strategy, is a great place to start. We encourage you to get help, and begin forming strategies for long-term change and liberation from these struggles. Church leaders should not be resigned to hypocrisy, but show true leadership by taking action against the personal temptations which consume you.

Regardless of how porn is affecting you, we recommend you consider adding a professional mentor to your schedule, which is an excellent way to manage the stresses and pressures of ministry. You can contact the Safe Ministry Team for advice on how to connect with a professional mentor.

When addressing pornography in your congregation, keep in mind there are multiple groups affected, all which need strategies and sensitivity. They are users, people affected by pornography and its culture, and the next generation (those yet to be affected by porn).

When thinking about pastoral care, keep the following points in mind:

People need a full picture of the many problems caused by pornography

This includes not only how it affects them, but how they, as users, affect others. Ultimately they need a blend of support, rebuke, and assurance that with work and resolve, they can be porn-free.

Many (but not all) Christians feel guilt and shame about their porn use, and need God’s grace and forgiveness. They often feel helpless, since their compulsive behaviours keep repeating despite attempts to stop.

Understanding that the biological and neurological damage caused by long-term porn use will take time and persistence to undo. Sadly, some users simply don’t see the problem with porn, and those perceptions need to be confronted.

Pornography use impacts more people than many realise

The impact on spouses can be devastating. Spouses can be heavily affected, as research shows that pornography reduces trust, increases insecurities, and contributes to relationship breakdown. Likewise parents, siblings and close friends all carry a burden when relating with porn users.

More broadly, the surrounding sexualised culture has enormous influence on how young people behave and feel. Modern objectification culture alone places horrible pressure on females, whilst perpetuating unloving and unrealistic expectations in men.

Our families, churches and schools need to be actively resisting this culture, both exposing how harmful selfish sexuality is, whilst being counter-cultural in the alternative narrative of respectful, Christ-like, mutual-love relationships.

Helping the next generation resist pornography is a long-term challenge for our churches and schools

Education resources, parenting family support, leadership training, school curricula, and a good sexual culture are some of the ways this will happen. Our children and teens need to be prepared as early as possible. If their parents, church and Christian schools are not leading the way in resisting porn, then the world’s noise will invariably reach them. Young people need to know the very real dangers of pornography, and look to us for how to live as disciples of Jesus in this highly sexualised and narcissistic world.